Finding myself again

Hey reader,

I'm 16 months into my motherhood journey and honestly? I'm loving every moment of it. So much so that I've stuck with freelancing part-time while I figure out what's next. I've been doing some more job applications too, just testing the waters.

Being a mom is truly the greatest gift I've ever received, though like anything worthwhile, it comes with its highs and lows. I hit one of those lows recently after some disappointing moments in my job search. During my darkest hour, I turned to meditation, just sitting quietly and observing my thoughts.

Funny thing is, my mind kept drifting to my past self: the career woman, side hustler, marathon runner, that unstoppable version of me before baby. I found myself wondering: Where is that person now? What happened to all those passions and dreams? The questions kept coming, but answers were nowhere to be found.

They say motherhood transforms you. Some people change their habits, careers, and entire mindset. Others stay largely the same. There's no one-size-fits-all advice, but if you're in a similar boat, here are some thoughts that have helped me:

Embrace change

Sounds obvious, but it's fundamental. When you become a parent, your little one naturally takes up time and space, meaning something else has to give. You simply can't expect life to continue unchanged.

The key for me was consciously choosing what to keep and what to let go. Letting go hurts sometimes, but remember that you can always return to those things later. I've been running since I was 17, finished multiple marathons, and used to ran about 1,200km yearly at a decent pace (my Parkrun PB was 24:30!). I also used to get knee injuries twice a year, but that’s that’s a story for another day.

I still love running and missed it terribly when I was too pregnant to continue (I ran until month 6). But something shifted and I don't care about it with the same intensity anymore. I miss that feeling of flying down a trail or running a long distance, but not enough to make it a priority. I've evolved! I still run 2-3 times weekly, but I haven't signed up for races, and I'm definitely not getting faster. Running remains non-negotiable for my new self, but I've compromised on what that looks like.

Own your decisions

I stopped creating regular content after having my baby. It was a relatively easy decision. Between work, family, and health, something had to give. Some people switch to part-time work to spend more time with their kids while maintaining their career. It's a wonderful way to balance things.

I know most of you work in tech and might be raising your eyebrows. Tech isn't exactly known for part-time flexibility. Like doctors, lawyers, or police officers, your team typically needs you five days a week, not one or two. Whatever path you choose, try not to waste energy on regret, but own your decision and be proud of yourself. There's no right or wrong answer here.

Write it down

If you're still feeling lost, remember that this confusion is part of life too. Try writing down your priorities and creating an action plan. Here's my approach:

I want to... Make more content

• When? In the evening after I put my baby to sleep, for 1 hour

• How? Create carousels (simpler than reels)

• What? Social media posts

• Why? To have an influence

I want to... Run three times a week

• When? Mornings at 6am

• How? Slow, at my own pace

• What? Short interval runs (5k)

• Why? Because it makes me feel better

I'm thinking about shifting this newsletter toward more mindset-focused content. If that resonates with you, drop me a note and let me know!

All the best,

Sara